Well, Here Goes Something

👨‍👦Parenting - Becoming a Dad: My Unexpected Journey Into Fatherhood

I've decided to write about my experiences as a parent and to pass on any insights that might help others. My parenting journey has certainly not followed the traditional path, and I’ve made my fair share of mistakes along the way. I hope that by sharing my story it may help other parents who might be struggling to be the “perfect parent”. Quick spoiler alert, there is no such thing!

This is not a "Parenting 101" guide. Instead, it's a journey through one person’s honest attempt to do the best he could. It’s a story about acceptance, letting go, and navigating life’s challenges with heart and passion. Perfection in parenting doesn’t exist—it's subjective and unattainable. What matters is intention, presence and above all else, unconditional love.

My son is now 27 years old. He owns his own business, and I couldn't be more proud of the incredible, caring, generous, and loving man he has become—especially considering everything he’s had to endure.

I'll be sharing this story in several parts, with a new post each week. I hope you enjoy them and find something meaningful in them. If you’re in need of someone to talk to or looking for guidance on parenting, please reach out and you can also leave comments and share your insights for others.

“I’m Pregnant.”

Hearing those words from my 18-year-old partner when I was 23 changed everything. I was overwhelmed by a mix of emotions—none of them distinct enough to name other than sheer shock.

I always knew I wanted a family one day, but we hadn’t planned on having children yet. In fact, we hadn’t even discussed it. That moment re-wrote every plan I had for my future, though I didn’t realise it at the time.

Our lives were far from stable. I had recently left behind my dreams of becoming an actor and moved up a mountain to make furniture—embracing a kind of free-spirited, hippy lifestyle. I had no steady income, and we barely had enough money to feed ourselves, let alone a child.

The idea of being responsible for another human being was freaking me out, but at the same time I felt a rightness to it. Like it was ment to be and I was given an incredible opportunity for a greater and higher purpose than myself. I had to seriously evaluate our situation. Thankfully, I’d studied business economics at TAFE and knew how to plan and set goals, even if it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing right at that present moment and it really messed with the whole go with the flow hippy vibe we were trying to live.

We started writing down lists—lots of lists. For me, getting thoughts out of my head and onto paper has always been the best way to manage overwhelming emotions and bring clarity to otherwise clouded situations. Once things are written down, they feel less chaotic and more actionable.

Eventually, we distilled our planning down to four key areas:

1. Money. We needed a stable income. That meant I had to find a reliable job—fast.

2. Living Situation. Our mountain home was beautiful but impractical. It was far from support networks and expensive to access.

3. Health Care. We needed a doctor, Lamaze classes, and a plan for where the baby would be delivered.

4. Essentials. We had to start gathering everything a baby needs—clothes, pram, nappies, feeding supplies, and more.

Once we broke it all down into manageable parts, something that felt overwhelming began to look like the joyous adventure it is meant to be.

Of course, writing it down is only the first step. Reality often presents challenges you can’t anticipate. Finding a job was tough. Rejections stung. Eventually, I landed a role as a sales assistant at Myer, selling computers and AV equipment.

We also moved in with my mum, which made living costs more manageable and allowed us to save for baby essentials. It wasn’t the life we’d envisioned at the time, but it was what we needed to do for our future child.

We attended Lamaze classes and learned about parenting basics—nutrition, sleep, stress management, and more. These days, the internet offers a flood of information, which can be just as overwhelming as it is helpful.

I remember my mum saying, “Back in my day, we didn’t need all that stuff—and you boys turned out fine.” She wasn’t wrong. In today’s society, we often overcomplicate life. First-time parents especially can feel paralysed by the sheer volume of advice and expectations place upon them by others and also themselves.

It’s easy to feel like you’ll never again have a life that’s truly your own. And you won’t—at least not in the way you once did. But that’s not a bad thing. You become forever connected to a new life that you helped create. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll begin to experience the joy and wonder that comes with it.

Let go of the idea of being a "perfect parent." That’s not the goal. The goal is to be the best parent you can be—with your strengths, your flaws, your humanness. Every child is a unique miracle and part of the reason behind that is the fact that every child is raised differently in some way. I believe it would be a far less colourful world if every child was raised exactly the same, eating the same food, following the same rules like robots.

Becoming a parent has been the single greatest gift of my life. It’s brought me the highest highs and the lowest lows. It’s shaped me into the person I am today, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I firmly believe that the most important aspect of life is having purpose. And to me, the greatest purpose is to cherish and care for other sentient beings. Having a child is one of the purest ways to live that truth.

I’m not saying to go out and have a child just to find meaning—but if you already have one, or are about to, please cherish every moment. When it feels hard, when you're overwhelmed, remind yourself what an extraordinary miracle it is to give and care for life. There is no greater purpose than that.

Next week I will write about the wonders of knowing everything before you have experienced it and why it is so hard to take advice as a parent even though you have never done it before.

🏹Goal Setting/Planning - Shoot for the Stars🌟

I've dreamed up countless goals in my lifetime. Many never made it to paper, and quite a few that did were never realized. Honestly, I could teach an entire course on how to fail at achieving goals — because I’ve failed far more times than I’ve succeeded. Yet, despite the many setbacks, I’ve managed to accomplish more than most might in several lifetimes.

I remember one Sunday, many years ago, attending a school function held in an old church. The pastor delivering the sermon spoke at length, but one line stood out and has stayed with me ever since:

“Shoot for the stars and you may hit the moon!”

My father shared a similar belief with my two younger brothers and me. He often told us that nothing was impossible — that we could even fly if we truly believed. Inspired, we tested his words the very next day, jumping off our house’s old water tank using umbrellas and makeshift parachutes. Luckily, we had the foresight to throw a mattress out the window to cushion our landings.

That playful experiment reflected a deeper philosophy I’ve carried throughout life: there is no such thing as "can’t." Thanks to my parents, I grew up believing that anyone can achieve anything with enough belief and effort.

From a fairly young age, I realized I needed to harness my passion and enthusiasm. Setting outrageous goals was easy; learning to focus on the steps required to achieve them was the challenge. That’s when I turned to some of the greats in the goal-setting world — Zig Ziglar, Og Mandino, Brian Tracy, and others. I absorbed every book, cassette tape, and audio program I could find.

Looking back, I often wonder how I ever lived without clearly defined goals and a plan for life.

Of course, life hasn't always been smooth sailing. There have been significant physical and mental challenges along the way, and at times I've questioned the universe’s plans for me. But I know one thing for certain: having a goal gives life purpose. And when life has purpose, it has meaning. I believe that is the key to a happy and fulfilled life.

Unfortunately, many people drift through life without a clear sense of purpose, only to wake up one day wondering how they ended up so far from their childhood dreams. But here’s the beautiful truth: while you have breath, you have power.

Next week I will start at the begining and take you through the basics of goal setting. I will share a personal story of what not to do and a time that almost cost me my life from poor goal setting.

More help on goal setting here.

💲Budgeting - Simple, Spend Less Than You Earn!💰

For some of us saving money to put towards goals, dreams or just basic living can seem very challenging. When I am asked, “what is the single best tip you can tell me to stick a budget?”, I tell them this. Make your motivation for not spening money more important that spending it. It is the emotional tie you have to the reason why you want/need to be mindful with your money that will determine your success in this area.

Through out these letters I will share with you stories and examples of way’s in which people have saved money, how to establish a clear purpose and how to commit to a well defined budget. I will bring my training and knowledge aquired as a finance broker and also real estate agent to suggest ways which people have saved money and made their money work for them.

Keep in mind that all financial information and advice given in this newsletter is general in nature and you should be taken as such. You should obtain specific advice for your own financial situation.

I was 14 years old when I set my first budget. Needless to say, I didn’t have many expenses, since my parents covered all the basics. But I had my eye on a new computer—an Amiga 500. At the time, I already had a Commodore 64 and had fallen in love with technology. It was mesmerizing to me. To get the Amiga 500 and all the extras I wanted, I needed to save around $1,500.

I was working as a baggage boy at the local golf club, earning about $4.50 an hour, plus occasional tips. In six months, I had saved the full amount. I refrained from buying all the cool stuff all my mates were getting because I wanted that computer more than all the little temptations along the way.

You might think it’s easy to save money when you don’t have many expenses. But in reality, that’s rarely the case. In all my years helping people manage their budgets, I’ve never met anyone who didn’t spend money on things they didn’t truly need. Looking back, the fundamentals of budgeting haven’t changed. The same universal principles apply today as they did back then—and they mirror the core concepts in other areas of life such as goal setting, planning, and mindfulness. You’ll notice these common themes as we go through each week of the newsletter.

Here are my basic rules for budgeting

1. Write everything down. Track all income and expenses—every dollar counts.

2. Find your “why.” Your motivation should be deeply meaningful to you.

3. Understand and accept your current situation. Know where you’re starting from.

4. Set your goal. Know exactly what you want to achieve. (See Goal Setting for help.)

5. Accept the sacrifices. Achieving your goal will require trade-offs.

6. Create a vision board. Include visual and written representations of your goal and its benefits.

7. Visualize and meditate daily. See yourself achieving your goal and reflect on how it feels.

8. Set weekly rewards. Make the process enjoyable and sustainable.

9. Find a support person. Choose someone who will keep you motivated and accountable.

10. Relax and smile. Life is only as hard as your mind makes it. Be grateful for every breath and the opportunity to live in the present moment. 

I have two nephews who are twins and are probably typical of people their age, very early 20’s, in the way they handle their money. They spend it faster than they can make it! Over the coming weeks I am hoping to set up an experiment with them to see if I can get them to pay off their debts and also start saving money. Stay tuned over the coming weeks. Hopefully it is a fun adventure and not a complete trainwreck! You know what they say about working with family members…🙄

🚀Next Week - What’s Really Important Anyway!

Next weeks letter:

Mindfulness - I discuss way’s to work out what is really important in life, and break down the question “are our core needs the same for everyone?”.

Parenting - Why its hard to accept help as a first time parent and you feel like you have to do it all.

Goal Setting - I want to be an Astronaut! How to set personal, realistic goals and dealing with others that think you are crazy.

Budgeting - The twins budget challenge outlined to them, initial reactions and thoughts.

The Transformative Power of Gratitude: One more extra for this week.☺️