Well, Here Goes Something

My Journey 🚶‍♂️ - Vol 1. E 01. Why I Started This Newsletter.

I was 14 years old, sitting in a doctor’s office with my mum, when the doctor—staring at my X-ray—said without turning, “It could be cancer.”

The scan had revealed the source of the pain I’d been struggling with for two weeks. I’d been playing cricket, and in an effort to avoid getting run out, I dove with my bat outstretched and landed hard on my left side. After two weeks of being unable to lift my leg while lying down, I finally told my mum something was wrong and she immediatel took me to the doctor.

I looked over at my mum as the doctor spoke. She didn’t see the look on my face, and I’m glad she didn’t. I’m sure it’s the kind of expression no parent ever wants to see on their child. Back then, I didn’t know much about medicine—but I knew that “the big C” felt like a death sentence. I felt hollow, like all the life had just been sucked out of me.

It turned out I had a bone cyst the size of a 50-cent piece. The doctor said it was a miracle my bone hadn’t shattered—it was that thin. It was also incredibly rare; he’d never seen one before this large. I’d need emergency surgery, both to fix it and to rule out cancer. My operation was booked within a month.

That month was torture. I swung between fearing the worst to thinking that it would be nothing and life would soon be back to normal.

Back then, “normal” for me meant playing all the sport I could—cricket, rugby union, BMX racing, playing golf and working as a baggage boy at a golf course. I had a golf handicap of around 4. Computers were only just becoming mainstream and loading a game could take 20 minutes, so in the meantime, we’d blast “Money for Nothing” on our ghetto blasters while jumping our BMX bikes off homemade dirt ramps. We'd try to hit the jump just as that iconic guitar riff started. I can still hear it when I close my eyes—followed by the laughter when one of us would crash over the handlebars, skinning elbows and knees. We completely destroyed that tape from rewinding it so much and playing that one minute section over and over.

All that had now vansished from my life and I waited anxiously in nervous anticipation for my surgery.

Eventually, the day of the operation arrived. I was admitted the night before and would spend four days in hospital. The ward had eight beds and seven of the other patients were there due to motorbike accidents, including a motorbike cop who’d severed his foot at the ankle. That week convinced me to never get a motorbike—though I did own a postie bike (but that doesn’t really count).

When the results came in, Mum and I were brought into a room to meet the specialist. “It’s great news,” he said, with a warm reassuring smile. “It’s not cancer.”

Relief flooded through me. I hadn’t realised how much emotional weight I’d been carrying. I wanted to cry, to laugh, to scream—but instead I just said, “Well, that’s good.” Mum let out a breath I hadn’t even noticed she was holding. Looking back, I wish I’d appreciated what my parents must have been going through from my ordeal. Now that I’m a parent myself and have felt that helplessness when my son dealt with his cancer, I can see that the suffering can be a lot worse.

I asked the doctor why this had happened. I was healthy, active and had a healthy diet. His reply has stuck with me ever since:

“We have no idea. It could have been magical fairies that came down one night and put the cyst in your leg. It doesn’t really matter now though—it’s fixed.”

At the time, I thought, Magical bloody fairies? Are you kidding me? Especially since it wasn’t fixed. Over the next three years, I’d have five operations and spend 18 months on crutches. I had to give up all the sports I loved and thought that my world had ended.

Eventually, I came to understand what he meant. It didn’t matter how or why it happened. What mattered was what I did with it in the present moment. After the 4th failed attept to fix my leg, I made the concious decision stopped being a victim. I accepted it and took control. I started surfing, because it was low-impact and it allowed me to be fit and active. I meditated every day, visualising my bone as solid marble. I focused on what I could do—not what I couldn’t.

At 17, three months after my final operation, I sat in the same office. The doctor walked in, but before he could speak, I said, “You don’t have to tell me—it’s all good this time, isn’t it?” He smiled and said, “It’s better than good. I can’t believe how fast it’s healed.”

I walked out of that office feeling like I’d discovered the key to life and the universe.

Of course, I would go on to misplace that key—many times. But I always found it again. Most recently, I went through the hardest ordeal of my life, and once again the key revealed itself. This time, I’ve realised something extra:

To keep the key, I have to share it.

That’s why I started this newsletter.

To share the lessons I’ve learned through hardship, joy, and some wild adventures—like raising my son as a single parent, running a hang-gliding school, having my heart broken (a few times), losing loved ones to accidents and suicide, facing death more than once, and having my dreams shattered over and over… and still finding smiles and laughter along the way.  I am so grateful for all of what has occurred so far as it has led me to writing these words at exactly the right time and you reading them.

I share this because I want you to know you’re not alone. The struggles you face have purpose. And more importantly: you’re okay. You’re alive. You’re breathing. You’re in control of your life. The only moment that truly exists is the present one—and once you accept that, you become unbreakable.

Please feel free to comment and share your story as we walk this path together. The more we share, the more we realise how connected we are. There’s strength in numbers—and through this growing community, we can help more people discover their own “key.”

So spread the word. Invite someone who you think would benefit. Let’s build something meaningful together and help empower one another to keep the bright lights of hope, peace and imagination shining on this amazing planet we call home.

Until our paths cross again—
I wish you peace and kindness with every step.

For more information and guidance check out my life coaching page;

www.todaysthatday.com.au

Understanding Ikigai: Read more about findng your purpose here. 

🙏🏼Mindfulness - My Own Monkey Magic 🐒

I remember being very young when I was first introduced to the concept of mindfulness.  Every afternoon my brothers and I would race home from school to be able to watch the next episode of Monkey Magic.  Those not familiar with the 1978 T.V. show do yourself a favour and check it out here.  It’s an absolute cult classic.  To write this segment I made sure I did my due diligence and binge watched a few hours of the show.  I even busted out a few kung fu moves after just like the good old days for good measure! Note: Stretch before doing this……🤣🤣

Little did we know back then the effects of T.V. and screen time on our lives and just how crazy and obsessed we would become about looking at a screen.  I guess we were lucky back then because we were able to have a balance of screen time and no screen time.  Mobile phones looked like bricks and were only for the very rich, so all we had were big old CRT televisions and the remote was the youngest person in the room or the one sitting closest to the T.V..  Our version of watching a movie was a trip down to the local video store where we spent an hour sifting through the VHS tapes trying to find a movie we could all agree on.  Picking the movie was a full-on outing and an adventure itself.  At 14 there was also the hope that some cute girl might be there as well you could make eyes at.  I wonder how many romances must have started at the original dating meeting site, the good old video store.

Whilst technology brought about amazing convenience, there has been something lost in the magic and wonder of life’s adventures and the basic pleasures of simple things.  There now seems to be a certain conditioning that everything must be done at lightning speed to get to the next destination faster and better than anyone before.  Competition to be the best without making mistakes is favoured over inclusion and simply having a go.  Often the actual moment is not being appreciated or absorbed because selfies and videos have to be taken to post on the internet to get further validation of self from others that we do not even know.  The ability to laugh at oneself and feel comfortable in being yourself has become a lot more challenging as the need to impress others and project a certain image becomes more and more important.  Is it any wonder that so many people today struggle to answer the question “who am I”.

For myself, the driving emotion behind the need to be liked was simple.  It was FEAR!  Fear of not being liked.  Fear of not fitting in.  Fear of not being enough.  That fear did not start until I had the issue with my leg, when I felt for the first time in life that I was not invincible.  That some aspects of life were out of my control.  This lesson stretched over three years while I had my leg operated on time and time again.  It was not until I practiced mindfulness, acceptance, gratitude and meditation that my path changed from a cycle of suffering to one of progression forward.  When I discovered what was within my control and how to control it, I empowered myself to heal, both physically and mentally.

It is strange looking back now at myself as a kid who had no knowledge or labels for those skills/traits.  I cannot remember how I even came to think about doing those things.  It just seemed to feel right.  Like I had reached a point of suffering where it was all that was left.  I went through the cycle of self-cherishing with disbelief, frustration, anger, and jealousy and all that was left was the present moment.  I do get goose bumps each time I think about it as it reminds me again and again to bring myself back into the present moment.  Even writing this I have stopped multiple times to pay attention to my breath, clear my head of any thoughts and then smile in gratitude and the pure joy of being alive. 

Give it a try now for yourself.  Take a deep breath in, hold it, then consciously clear your mind of any thoughts breathing them out as you exhale.  Focusing on your breath and only your breath is a great way to bring yourself into the present moment and a state of mindfulness. It is important to be able to break the constant thought cycle and spend some time in that beautiful place inbetween the thoughts.

"Be where you are; otherwise, you will miss your life." - Buddha 

I think this quote sums it up perfectly.  This little secret key has been understood for approximately 2500 years at least.  I don’t feel so bad that I have had to re-discover it so many times throughout my own lifetime.

I have recently started working out again after many years of working hard perfecting a dad’s bod.  Like the muscles which I am now able to train back into existence, all be it very slowly, the skill of mindfulness needs to be practiced daily also.  That is because every day the world in which we live in will continue to test us.  If we want to continue to remain in a state of peace and happiness, we need to spend time every day to remind ourselves to be consciously mindful of our thoughts and the way in which we respond to them.  Becoming a conscious observer rather than a passenger and coming from a place of acceptance, gratitude and humility will allow the natural positive flow of the universe to take place.

“Be like water my friend” – Bruce Lee

Another massive influence in my life when I was growing up and still now today is the famous and great martial artist Bruce Lee.  Maybe it was the universe guiding me on a natural progression from Monkey Magic.  His philosophy on life and beliefs in practicing mindfulness were very evident in the way he lived his life.

Mindfulness then isn’t a new concept.  There is no need to test it to see if it will work because it has been tried and tested for so many years there is absolutely no question to its efficacy.  You may have already been practicing mindfulness or have experience with it.  Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences and how it has helped you.

Every week I will write more around practicing mindfulness and offer my thoughts and personal experiences. I will also include further great resources such as books, videos and podcasts. 

I am so glad that you are coming along for the ride, and I again encourage you to make comments and share any experiences related to our discussions. Please pass the word on to anyone you think who would benefit from this newsletter and information.  The more people we can get to share their stories the more positive energy we can have flow back into the universe and the light will shine so bright there will be no more shadows. 🕊

Next week I will share with you trigger points that distract you from being mindful and tips on how to stay centred.  Until then I wish you peace and happiness with every step you take.

Acceptance: The Hardest First Step- Read more on acceptance HERE!

👨‍👦Parenting - Becoming a Dad: My Unexpected Journey Into Fatherhood

I've decided to write about my experiences as a parent and to pass on any insights that might help others. My parenting journey has certainly not followed the traditional path, and I’ve made my fair share of mistakes along the way. I hope that by sharing my story it may help other parents who might be struggling to be the “perfect parent”. Quick spoiler alert, there is no such thing!

This is not a "Parenting 101" guide. Instead, it's a journey through one person’s honest attempt to do the best he could. It’s a story about acceptance, letting go, and navigating life’s challenges with heart and passion. Perfection in parenting doesn’t exist—it's subjective and unattainable. What matters is intention, presence and above all else, unconditional love.

My son is now 27 years old. He owns his own business, and I couldn't be more proud of the incredible, caring, generous, and loving man he has become—especially considering everything he’s had to endure.

I'll be sharing this story in several parts, with a new post each week. I hope you enjoy them and find something meaningful in them. If you’re in need of someone to talk to or looking for guidance on parenting, please reach out and you can also leave comments and share your insights for others.

“I’m Pregnant.”

Hearing those words from my 18-year-old partner when I was 23 changed everything. I was overwhelmed by a mix of emotions—none of them distinct enough to name other than sheer shock.

I always knew I wanted a family one day, but we hadn’t planned on having children yet. In fact, we hadn’t even discussed it. That moment re-wrote every plan I had for my future, though I didn’t realise it at the time.

Our lives were far from stable. I had recently left behind my dreams of becoming an actor and moved up a mountain to make furniture—embracing a kind of free-spirited, hippy lifestyle. I had no steady income, and we barely had enough money to feed ourselves, let alone a child.

The idea of being responsible for another human being was freaking me out, but at the same time I felt a rightness to it. Like it was ment to be and I was given an incredible opportunity for a greater and higher purpose than myself. I had to seriously evaluate our situation. Thankfully, I’d studied business economics at TAFE and knew how to plan and set goals, even if it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing right at that present moment and it really messed with the whole go with the flow hippy vibe we were trying to live.

We started writing down lists—lots of lists. For me, getting thoughts out of my head and onto paper has always been the best way to manage overwhelming emotions and bring clarity to otherwise clouded situations. Once things are written down, they feel less chaotic and more actionable.

Eventually, we distilled our planning down to four key areas:

1. Money. We needed a stable income. That meant I had to find a reliable job—fast.

2. Living Situation. Our mountain home was beautiful but impractical. It was far from support networks and expensive to access.

3. Health Care. We needed a doctor, Lamaze classes, and a plan for where the baby would be delivered.

4. Essentials. We had to start gathering everything a baby needs—clothes, pram, nappies, feeding supplies, and more.

Once we broke it all down into manageable parts, something that felt overwhelming began to look like the joyous adventure it is meant to be.

Of course, writing it down is only the first step. Reality often presents challenges you can’t anticipate. Finding a job was tough. Rejections stung. Eventually, I landed a role as a sales assistant at Myer, selling computers and AV equipment.

We also moved in with my mum, which made living costs more manageable and allowed us to save for baby essentials. It wasn’t the life we’d envisioned at the time, but it was what we needed to do for our future child.

We attended Lamaze classes and learned about parenting basics—nutrition, sleep, stress management, and more. These days, the internet offers a flood of information, which can be just as overwhelming as it is helpful.

I remember my mum saying, “Back in my day, we didn’t need all that stuff—and you boys turned out fine.” She wasn’t wrong. In today’s society, we often overcomplicate life. First-time parents especially can feel paralysed by the sheer volume of advice and expectations place upon them by others and also themselves.

It’s easy to feel like you’ll never again have a life that’s truly your own. And you won’t—at least not in the way you once did. But that’s not a bad thing. You become forever connected to a new life that you helped create. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll begin to experience the joy and wonder that comes with it.

Let go of the idea of being a "perfect parent." That’s not the goal. The goal is to be the best parent you can be—with your strengths, your flaws, your humanness. Every child is a unique miracle and part of the reason behind that is the fact that every child is raised differently in some way. I believe it would be a far less colourful world if every child was raised exactly the same, eating the same food, following the same rules like robots.

Becoming a parent has been the single greatest gift of my life. It’s brought me the highest highs and the lowest lows. It’s shaped me into the person I am today, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I firmly believe that the most important aspect of life is having purpose. And to me, the greatest purpose is to cherish and care for other sentient beings. Having a child is one of the purest ways to live that truth.

I’m not saying to go out and have a child just to find meaning—but if you already have one, or are about to, please cherish every moment. When it feels hard, when you're overwhelmed, remind yourself what an extraordinary miracle it is to give and care for life. There is no greater purpose than that.

Next week I will write about the wonders of knowing everything before you have experienced it and why it is so hard to take advice as a parent even though you have never done it before.

🏹Goal Setting/Planning - Shoot for the Stars🌟

I've dreamed up countless goals in my lifetime. Many never made it to paper, and quite a few that did were never realized. Honestly, I could teach an entire course on how to fail at achieving goals — because I’ve failed far more times than I’ve succeeded. Yet, despite the many setbacks, I’ve managed to accomplish more than most might in several lifetimes.

I remember one Sunday, many years ago, attending a school function held in an old church. The pastor delivering the sermon spoke at length, but one line stood out and has stayed with me ever since:

“Shoot for the stars and you may hit the moon!”

My father shared a similar belief with my two younger brothers and me. He often told us that nothing was impossible — that we could even fly if we truly believed. Inspired, we tested his words the very next day, jumping off our house’s old water tank using umbrellas and makeshift parachutes. Luckily, we had the foresight to throw a mattress out the window to cushion our landings.

That playful experiment reflected a deeper philosophy I’ve carried throughout life: there is no such thing as "can’t." Thanks to my parents, I grew up believing that anyone can achieve anything with enough belief and effort.

From a fairly young age, I realized I needed to harness my passion and enthusiasm. Setting outrageous goals was easy; learning to focus on the steps required to achieve them was the challenge. That’s when I turned to some of the greats in the goal-setting world — Zig Ziglar, Og Mandino, Brian Tracy, and others. I absorbed every book, cassette tape, and audio program I could find.

Looking back, I often wonder how I ever lived without clearly defined goals and a plan for life.

Of course, life hasn't always been smooth sailing. There have been significant physical and mental challenges along the way, and at times I've questioned the universe’s plans for me. But I know one thing for certain: having a goal gives life purpose. And when life has purpose, it has meaning. I believe that is the key to a happy and fulfilled life.

Unfortunately, many people drift through life without a clear sense of purpose, only to wake up one day wondering how they ended up so far from their childhood dreams. But here’s the beautiful truth: while you have breath, you have power.

Next week I will start at the begining and take you through the basics of goal setting. I will share a personal story of what not to do and a time that almost cost me my life from poor goal setting.

More help on goal setting here.

💲Budgeting - Simple, Spend Less Than You Earn!💰

For some of us saving money to put towards goals, dreams or just basic living can seem very challenging. When I am asked, “what is the single best tip you can tell me to stick a budget?”, I tell them this. Make your motivation for not spening money more important that spending it. It is the emotional tie you have to the reason why you want/need to be mindful with your money that will determine your success in this area.

Through out these letters I will share with you stories and examples of way’s in which people have saved money, how to establish a clear purpose and how to commit to a well defined budget. I will bring my training and knowledge aquired as a finance broker and also real estate agent to suggest ways which people have saved money and made their money work for them.

Keep in mind that all financial information and advice given in this newsletter is general in nature and you should be taken as such. You should obtain specific advice for your own financial situation.

I was 14 years old when I set my first budget. Needless to say, I didn’t have many expenses, since my parents covered all the basics. But I had my eye on a new computer—an Amiga 500. At the time, I already had a Commodore 64 and had fallen in love with technology. It was mesmerizing to me. To get the Amiga 500 and all the extras I wanted, I needed to save around $1,500.

I was working as a baggage boy at the local golf club, earning about $4.50 an hour, plus occasional tips. In six months, I had saved the full amount. I refrained from buying all the cool stuff all my mates were getting becuase I wanted that computer more than all the little temptations along the way.

You might think it’s easy to save money when you don’t have many expenses. But in reality, that’s rarely the case. In all my years helping people manage their budgets, I’ve never met anyone who didn’t spend money on things they didn’t truly need. Looking back, the fundamentals of budgeting haven’t changed. The same universal principles apply today as they did back then—and they mirror the core concepts in other areas of life such as goal setting, planning, and mindfulness. You’ll notice these common themes as we go through each week of the newsletter.

Here are my basic rules for budgeting

1. Write everything down. Track all income and expenses—every dollar counts.

2. Find your “why.” Your motivation should be deeply meaningful to you.

3. Understand and accept your current situation. Know where you’re starting from.

4. Set your goal. Know exactly what you want to achieve. (See Goal Setting for help.)

5. Accept the sacrifices. Achieving your goal will require trade-offs.

6. Create a vision board. Include visual and written representations of your goal and its benefits.

7. Visualize and meditate daily. See yourself achieving your goal and reflect on how it feels.

8. Set weekly rewards. Make the process enjoyable and sustainable.

9. Find a support person. Choose someone who will keep you motivated and accountable.

10. Relax and smile. Life is only as hard as your mind makes it. Be grateful for every breath and the opportunity to live in the present moment. 

I have two nephews who are twins and are probably typical of people their age, very early 20’s, in the way they handle their money. They spend it faster than they can make it! Over the coming weeks I am hoping to set up an experiment with them too see if I can get them to pay off their debts and also start saving money. Stay tuned over the coming weeks. Hopefully it is a fun adventure and not a complete trainwreck! You know what they say about working with family memebers…🙄

🚀Next Week - What’s Really Important Anyway!

Next weeks letter:

Mindfulness - I discuss way’s to work out what is really important in life, and break down the question “are our core needs the same for everyone?”.

Parenting - Why its hard to accept help as a first time parent and you feel like you have to do it all.

Goal Setting - I want to be an Astronaut! How to set personal, realistic goals and dealing with others that think you are crazy.

Budgeting - The twins budget challenge outlined to them, initial reactions and thoughts.

The Transformative Power of Gratitude: One more extra for this week.☺️