✨ Hindsight – It’s Never Too Late 💭⏳

Jay’s Walk -✨ Hindsight – It’s Never Too Late 💭⏳

Let’s begin by understanding what hindsight actually means.

According to the Collins Dictionary:
Hindsight (haɪndsaɪt) – “The ability to understand and realize something about an event after it has happened, although you did not understand or realize it at the time.”

With hindsight, many of us might say, “I would have done things differently.” But would we really? Maybe not every time. However, there are certainly moments in life when we reflect and wish we could go back and make a different choice—one that might have brought less pain or confusion, or led to a smoother path.

It’s important to remember: we are where we are today because of everything we’ve lived through. Every decision, every experience, every high and low has shaped us. I believe the universe, at its core, is always guiding us toward growth, healing, and expansion—even if that growth doesn’t come in the way we expected or wanted.

That said, some of our hardest experiences—especially those we didn’t ask for—can feel impossible to justify or find meaning in. It becomes even more painful when others judge the decisions we made, especially when they use hindsight to suggest what we “should have” done.

When you’re doing your best with the tools, knowledge, and emotional capacity you have at the time, judgment after the fact can feel heavy and disheartening. It can even lead us into a spiral of self-blame and shame. But there’s something vital to consider when reflecting on our past actions or those of others: intention.

Ask yourself:

• What was the intention behind the decision?

• Was it made with hope, care, and what felt like the right step in that moment?

• Was it meant to bring healing or safety, even if it didn’t work out that way?

If your intentions were rooted in love, hope, or protection—even if the outcome was difficult—then give yourself grace. Let go of guilt. You were trying. You were human.

If, on the other hand, the intention came from a place of fear, hurt, or even harm, then that too offers powerful insight. It's not about blame—it's about understanding where that reaction came from, and how to make different choices in the future.

Hindsight can be a deeply transformative tool if we use it with compassion, not condemnation.

And when you’re on the outside, looking at someone else's choices, remember: you’re seeing the whole picture now—but they weren’t. Try to step into their shoes. Empathy softens judgment. It doesn’t excuse hurtful outcomes, but it creates room for healing on both sides.

🌱 An example:

Imagine a young mother who chooses to leave a stable job to pursue her passion in art. Her family and friends worry, and later, when money becomes tight and the dream feels distant, some say, “You should have never left your job.” But they weren’t there in her heart when she felt her spirit fading in the office cubicle. They didn’t see the courage it took to honour that longing. With hindsight, she may see things she’d do differently—save more first, have a clearer plan—but that doesn’t make her choice wrong. Her intention was to live authentically. And that matters.

At the end of the day, the universe doesn’t want us stuck in blame or resentment—toward ourselves or others. It calls us to grow, to awaken, to become more aware and loving.

Hindsight, when met with empathy and understanding, becomes not a tool for judgment, but a bridge to wisdom.
And remember—it’s never too late to reflect, to shift, to grow, and to show compassion—especially toward yourself. 💛

Parenting - 👨‍👦Parenting – Which Parent is Right? Are You the Good, the Bad, or Both? 👩‍👧

If you’ve followed my journey for a while, you’ll know I’ve worn both parenting hats for most of my son Jesse’s life. Playing the roles of both mum and dad can be incredibly rewarding but also full of internal conflict. You often find yourself pulled in opposite directions—trying to be fun and relaxed, while also being responsible and setting a strong example.

One memory that still makes me smile is handing my six-month-old a Nintendo 64 controller. I was so excited for the day we’d game together. I’ve been an avid gamer ever since my Space Invaders days back in the ’80s, so I couldn’t wait to share that passion with him.

By the time Jesse was 10, he was absolutely smashing me at Halo. That’s when I realised: I’d created a gaming monster! 🎮😂

It was all fun and games… until the chores and homework came calling. Then came the hard part—not only motivating myself to switch off the console but getting Jesse to do the same. And that’s where the “both parent” challenge hit hardest.

Now don’t get me wrong—our lives weren’t all screens and controllers. I was running a hang-gliding school at the time, and our days were filled with surfing, fishing, footy, cricket, and mountain biking and golfing. We spent loads of time outdoors. But it was the home routines—cleaning, studying, the everyday stuff—that tested me most.

"Just one more game" became our shared mantra echoing through the house, a battle cry of bonding and, occasionally, procrastination.

Eventually, I had to step up—not just nag—but set strategies and boundaries. I created schedules, goal lists, and chore charts. It helped when these things came from us, not just me. We called ourselves Team JJ, and made decisions together wherever possible. I always tried to explain the why behind the rules—though, yes, I’ll admit, there were times I was too exhausted to be diplomatic.

Writing things down and sticking them on the fridge made them real. It turned tasks into a mission—a shared plan, a goal to achieve together.

As Jesse has grown into the remarkable man he is today, we’ve had our ups and downs. We haven’t always agreed. But that’s parenting. That’s partnership. It’s a continuous balancing act between being the “best mate” parent and the “bad cop.” And every lesson, even the hard ones, has been worth it.

You might assume my experience is different from households with two parents—but honestly, I’ve seen that even in those homes, one parent often ends up the fun one, while the other plays disciplinarian. (Or as I like to joke—the “evil dictator.” 😅)

But it’s not about who’s “good” or “bad.” It’s about finding balance. It’s about teamwork.

Every family is made up of unique personalities, strengths, and quirks—and it’s those differences that can actually become our greatest strength. A strong family unit thrives when each person feels heard, included, and supported. That extends beyond the core household too—to grandparents, siblings, and close friends. It truly takes a village.

In our case, Jesse and I were incredibly lucky to have his Nan—my mum—there with us for so much of his life. Her support, along with our wider family, gave me freedoms and strength I may not have had otherwise.

So, when it comes to being the “right” parent, maybe the answer isn’t about being one or the other. Maybe it’s about showing up, doing your best, and leaning into connection—over control. 💛

In the end, it’s not about being the good or bad parent. It’s about being the present parent.

-Jay Longden

Next Week

Jays Walk - What Failure Really Means!

Goal Setting - Consistency is the key.

I may have done some of these with Jess. 🤣